Seperation and Divorce
Seperation and Divorce
These situations can be challenging, and it is imparitive that you have some resources you can connect with to assist you through the transitions. A common mistake is not knowing what your rights and obligations are, and not having a support network in place.
The majority of these cases are resolved amicably. There are four key questions to ask.
- Are you legally married or common law?
- Do you share or have joint assets (money, bank accounts, cars, homes)?
- Do you have children or dependants that rely upon you for support?
- Is their emotional violence, physical violence or police reports?
If no to all of the above then likely you can resolve your conflicts with minimal outside support, otherwise, we have provided a few tabs above to help you address your concerts and strongly encourage you to make an appointment with one of our counsellor and also seek out legal advice.
Most are releived once they know what their rights are and how to exercise them in these situations and may have heard a lot of misinformation/bad advice from friends and family.
Married or Common Law
Often there are many questions about when are where common law begins, and the definition here clarifies that in BC it is 2 years for the divsion of assets, unless you have had a child together in which case it may be less time. Some aspects of common law marriage may take effect after 1 year.
There are several great websites out there, and we recommend that you talk to one of our consellors and get legal advice before signing any seperation agreement.
It is also preferrable to use collaborative family law and mediation services if your partner is willing to agree to those. This will potentially save you a lot of legal costs and likely result in an outcome that is fairer.
Kids in the picture
The majority of these cases are resolved amicably, however, some men are blindsided by accusations made by the mother. If you have children, it is important to protect yourself by keeping a log of the hours when you are with your children, when you pick them up and drop them off and any significant arguments. Many find communicating by text more effective that by phone as it keeps are record and allows time before responding to messages which can be used to write responses that will feel more neutral and less triggering to the other party.
If there is yelling and arguments with your partner, you are not feeling respected, or your partner is being manipulative we recommend getting in touch with our counsellors, they can help you reduce the emotional charge and provide you with some strategies to navigate this life situation more successfully. The first call with our consellors is always free, and we often can make a large difference for guys in this stage of life.
If you have children, there is likely more pressure and possibility for parental alienation and manipulation.
Also, take the time to search the web, and read some documents so that you know your rights and options as the seperation unfolds.